our marriage garden (L11)

As a teenager, my parents were strict when it came to dating one person exclusively. They wanted my siblings and me to date in groups and wait either until college or after we served a mission to do one on one dating. It’s hard to understand as a teenager the complicated feelings that come from spending a lot of time with just one other person, but as I got older, I saw mistakes usually happened with those teens that were dating exclusively. 

The more time you spend with someone, the more emotionally involved you get with that person. They’re good feelings, deep feelings that urge you to help or care for that person. What usually comes unexpectedly is the physical urge to match that emotional bond physically. 

As this is something to be wary of with dating teenagers, it is also something real in marriage. When a married couple strengthens their emotional bond, it will reflect in their physical relationship. 

There’s also the danger of creating emotional bonds with the opposite gender within marriage. What may seem like a harmless friendship with a coworker or neighbor can escalate into something more. The key to avoiding this is to prevent such deep emotional bonds and save time and energy for your spouse. 

In his book about bringing heaven into marriage, H. Wallace Goddard says: 

“As my wise colleague James Marshall observes, “The grass is greener on the side of the fence you water.” If we tend our little patch, even with all its weeds and rocks, we will find a joy that passes understanding. If we sit on the fence and dream, we will lose even our allotted garden spot. And the devil knows that.”

We must water and nourish our marriages and keep our sacred allotted garden spot. What may be the weeds and rocks (annoyances and weaknesses), any garden takes energy to grow. I’ve watched my dad with his gardens every year, spending the time planting plants and seeds, watering and caring for the garden. The fruit of his labors are not immediate, and I often wonder why he bothers, I surely did not inherit his green thumb. Then the tomatoes turn red, and the raspberries ripen, and I can see the actual fruit of his labors. It may take time, but the fruit of marriage comes. 

Works Cited:
“Drawing Heaven into Your Marriage,” H. Wallace Goddard