open the door to love (L07)

Have you ever felt a time where Christ was knocking at your door? I believe that Christ makes bids for our attention, just as Gottman says in his book that spouses frequently do with each other. These efforts often go missed by one or both parties, and whether it's Christ or our spouse, it's a real and daily part of out every day lives. 

It may be a complicated matter to know how involved God is in our lives, but I do believe that knowing that God is involved is essential for marriage. It means having faith that there is a purpose to everything in life, or having vision. 

vision: “the ability to think about or plan the future with imagination or wisdom”

“Where there is no vision, the people perish…” Proverbs 29:18

I love learning from the moments that I have with my daughter. I had an experience that opened my insight to having vision, or the ability to see past what is happening currently. My little girl was in my arm (because that’s where every 15 month old wants to be while mommy is preparing food) and I got out her favorite bread and food (cheese). She saw them and immediately wanted them, she even asked nicely in sign language with ‘please,’ but I was going to make cheese toast – so I took the pieces, put them together, and finally into the toaster oven. She let out a shrill scream of protest when I closed the toaster door.

I knew that she preferred the bread warmed and that she would prefer having the cheese and bread together – but in her young mind couldn’t get past that I hadn’t given her what she had wanted right then. How often do we come across trials and have an idea of what you want to happen, and then the opposite, or something unexpected happen?

let’s wait for our cheese toast

Just like my 15 month old’s impatience, our trials also feel like eternity while we are here on earth. Similarly, in the story in Mark about the man asking Christ to heal his boy from the demon that possessed him. Goddard says:

“The man posed the question whether Jesus could do anything: “If thou canst do anything .... “Jesus reversed the challenge: “If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth” (Mark 9:23). The question is not whether Jesus is able to heal. The question is whether we will believe in Him.” (Goddard, pg.56)

Part of having that vision of the end cheese toast isn’t just asking for cheese toast, but being able to believe in the process, believe in Christ’s power, and have an eternal perspective.

Now, as an adult, I understand the process of cheese toast, but during the day-to-day grind of life, things happen where I get lost in the little negative things that happen. If it’s something my husband and I are miscommunicating and I don’t know how to fix it – what kind of cheese toast, or result, can come from these seemingly pointless trials?

choose to look up

First, we need to realize that Satan wants to distract us, lead us down rabbit holes. Have you ever started to talk about one thing, then something mentioned bothers you, or the way something was said – and the conversation goes in a whole other direction? When Satan succeeds in distracting us, we end up missing out on blessings.

“Satan’s best hope is to keep us from looking up. He must keep us fully absorbed with the trivial, fretting over our inconveniences and stewing over our grievances.” (Goddard, pg.59)

Instead, we can choose to look up and recognize these moments as opportunities to grow and learn. We can choose to see these moments as purposeful for our eternal goal to be like Christ. I think these are times that Christ is knocking at our door, hoping we’ll answer instead of turning him away.

open the door to your spouse

Sometimes it will be your spouse or family member knocking at your door. In his book, Gottman says that family members may mask their bids in what we interpret as malice or the efforts are so subtle that we miss them. He stresses the importance to listen to the harsh words and look for the bid for attention within the anger and then respond to that, instead of the frustration. He also says how important it is to be present and aware. If we are distracted by our technology or so involved in our endeavors, we may miss a bid for attention, then missing out on those blessings.

No one is perfect, but we can work on our faith in Christ and our eternal perspective (or vision) when trials strike! Remember, there’s cheese toast waiting for you on the other end, or eternal blessings that we can’t fathom in our current state. Trust God by building faith in Christ, open those doors to love!

Sources Cited:

Christ Image: Jesus at the Door (Jesus Knocking at the Door), by Del Parson (62170), https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/media-library/images/jesus-at-the-door-39617?lang=eng (Links to an external site.)

“Drawing Heaven into your Marriage” H. Wallace Goddard

“The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work” John M. Gottman