After talking about a more secular part of marriage in my
last post, I’d like to address the most important part of the definition of
marriage and why I choose to defend it as a union between a man, a woman and
God.
the soul of the man and woman
I wish to premise this post with just because I believe a
certain way, does not mean that I wish to force my beliefs on the reader. I do
not write about truths because I want to enforce them, but because I want to
educate and open minds.
That said, this is a spiritual truth that I believe to be
true: I believe that the soul is made up a body and a spirit that resides inside
our body. One must understand this belief and also that death is not the end to
existence to understand this:
“Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose.” (The Family: A Proclamation to the World)
our soul in marriage
While I believe that society has put certain characteristics
on gender that I do not agree with, there are characteristics for both male and
female that make them both essential to marriage. God intended the mother to
give birth to children (a man can not do that) and to nurture the children both
physically and spiritually. There is an instinctual part of the man that wants
to provide and protect his family, and I believe God meant for the man to do so
both physically and spiritually. While perhaps the roles do not have concrete
lines where one begins and ends, the man and woman compliment each other and
support each other through the difficult and rewarding feat of marriage.
the garden of eden
Marriage is not easy and while there are some exceptions, I
believe the majority of divorces nowadays are people who are trying to escape
strife or consequences of their actions. Bruce C. Hafen in a discourse says,
“When troubles come, the parties to a contractual marriage seek happiness by walking away. They marry to obtain benefits and will stay only as long as they’re receiving what they bargained for.”
These sorts of people are trying to live
like Adam and Eve if they had never left the Garden of Eden. Everyone has the
gift of agency to choose, even Adam and Eve had it. They could have chosen to
not eat the forbidden fruit and stayed in blissful ignorance in the Garden of
Eden, happy, no troubles, no pain… It sounds nice, right?
we don’t live in that kind of world.
Just like Adam ended up leaving the garden and faced the
consequences thereof, so there are consequences of being human. There are hard
things that happen: deaths, natural disasters, and so many other things we
can’t control. Then there are the things we can control and the natural
consequences that come thereof. I like how Bruce C. Hafen describes those who live
a covenant marriage:
“But when troubles come to a covenant marriage, the husband and wife work them through. They marry to give and to grow, bound by covenants to each other, to the community, and to God. Contract companions each give 50 percent; covenant companions each give 100 percent.”
God meant for us to put our whole heart into marriage, and in doing
so we risk everything – but we gain joy and growth.
putting soul into marriage
Historically marriage used to be more like a covenant
marriage that was between man, woman, and the state. This was because the
government was interested in the success of a marriage and what happened to the
children. Nowadays the idea of marriage has strayed from this to a private
contract between two people – so it makes sense that people think it should be
fine to redefine marriage or want an easier way out if they deem divorce
necessary.
My solution? Let’s put the soul back into marriage. The
society needs more covenant marriages, but with God at it’s head. Marriage
needs commitment that no matter what, two people will work together to better
each other and support each other through the hardest times. God doesn’t expect
us to do it alone. The soul of marriage is a man, a woman, and God. God meant for us to have joy in the journey, and I can
attest to this truth as I’ve had my daughter and raised her with my husband and
guidance from God.
Works Cited & Further Notes:
“The Family: A Proclamation to the World,” https://www.lds.org/study/manual/the-family-a-proclamation-to-the-world/the-family-a-proclamation-to-the-world?lang=eng
Bruce C. Hafen, “Covenant Marriage,” Ensign, Nov 1996, 26
“Of course, some have no opportunity to marry. And some
divorces are unavoidable. But the Lord will ultimately compensate those
faithful ones who are denied mortal fulfillment.” Bruce Hafen
2 Nephi 2:23, “And they would have had no children;
wherefore they would have remained in a state of innocence, having no JOY, for
they knew no misery; doing no GOOD, for they knew no sin.”
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